


Certainty

by Sourlander



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Star Wars - Freeform, Stormpilot, kiss, poefinn, spoiler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2019-02-14 16:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13011762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourlander/pseuds/Sourlander
Summary: SPOILERS IN THE TAGS! SPOILERS FOR TLJ!Poe and Finn need to talk things through. If only Poe wasn't so exhausted...





	Certainty

**Author's Note:**

> Since the movie hasn't come out yet in the US, please note that this fic contains spoilers!
> 
> I saw the movie a few hours ago and I barel slept 2 hours. So please forgive me for the mistakes I haven't found yet. This needed to be done and quick!

****

The ship had jumped to hyperspace about half an hour ago and Poe knew he should be excited to be on the _Falcon_. Hadn’t he dreamed about being aboard the most famous freighter in the galaxy his entire life?

            But he couldn’t bring himself to even move away from where he was standing. They were so few. So few people were still here. So many had died. His heart contracted painfully as he looked around at the weary faces of his fellow soldiers. None of his squadron had made it. They were gone and he knew full well that he was responsible for the majority of their deaths. Now that there was nothing to do but wait for the emptiness of hyperspace to carry them to their next location, the truth started hitting him. He had time now.

Time to mourn.

Time to regret.

He reached up to turn the cool, formerly white padding of the wall. The ship felt solid under his touch. Solid and reliable. He had to be those things now. He couldn’t break down now. Not in front of all these beings who were relying on him now. He had no idea when it had happened, but Leia had entrusted them to him and in a way that made him feel even more scared.

She was sitting there with Rey by her side, looking as tired as he felt. The General had lost so many, friends, husband and brother, in such a short span of time. And how close they’d come to losing her, made his insides churn. Leia Organa had been as good as dead, but here she was. Against all odds. Was she a symbol of the one spark of hope that they were?

Poe was tired… so tired… he felt like slumping down on the ground, burying his head between his knees and allow grief to overtake him. Instead, he stood upright, arms crossed over his chest and for a moment he considered going to the cockpit. This was the last ship the Resistance still had, so studying its controls might indeed be useful, but then his eyes found Finn. The one person he’d been trying very hard not to look at. The way he’d rushed back into the bunker, dragging Rose right behind him, shouting for help, still tore at his heart, even though he knew full well that- what?

Finn was standing right next to Rose, who was lying in the cot on the far side of the main room, eyes fixed on her, his expression unreadable. His fingers traced the edge of the cot and the movement made Poe wish he hadn’t seen it. In all the turmoil he hadn’t found the time to think about Finn properly, but this one gesture told him all he needed to know: he didn’t like seeing Rose and Finn like this. And it wasn’t his place to interfere.

But still, despite this thought, he couldn’t help but follow Finn, as he turned away from Rose and headed down the corridor, where Poe knew, the engine room was located. Poe walked past the soldiers, past Leia and Rey, past the droids, eyes fixed on Finn. He’d always tried looking out for the former Stormtrooper, just like he’d felt Finn had looked out for him. But he was probably mistaken. He must be. And maybe it was time for Poe to overcome this strange feeling he had and try to help Finn. To be there for him, because where would he even be without Finn? Where would the Resistance be? Yes, they’d been defeated, almost blasted into oblivion, but they were still here, weren’t they?

He didn’t have the energy to go over the thousands and thousands of ifs starting to darken his thoughts, but he knew that he could and should at least try to be there for Finn.

He caught a glimpse of Finn slumping down on the ground in front of the engine room, brushing his thumb over his lips. He winced, when he saw Poe approach.

“Need me to leave?” Poe asked tentatively and waited for Finn to shake his head and point to a spot next to him, before he sat down. Their knees were almost touching. Almost. Poe took care not to make physical contact. Not now that he’d seen the way Finn cared about Rose, no matter how painful that thought was to him? “You were pretty badass down there,” Poe said quietly, “disobeyed direct orders, but still pretty badass.”

The corners of Finn’s mouth twitched into a smile and he looked at Poe. “Nothing you wouldn’t have done.”

“Nothing I didn’t do,” Poe said brushing his hand over his weary eyes. The necklace with his mother’s ring slid out beneath his shirt. She wouldn’t have been proud of him, he knew. And neither would his father when he told him. That much was certain. He knew that now. Now, that he’d seen Finn risk his life like that. “Are you okay?”

Finn snorted. “I’m glad Rey is back, yes, but-“ he stopped short, thumb brushing over his lower lip again. He was staring into empty space and the look gave Poe another pang. A short, stabbing pain which he recognized all too well, though he’d never felt it like this before. Not with this irrational intensity. Rey, the Jedi, Rose, the hero. How could he even begin to compare with that.

“We can be alright,” he said softly. “We have to be.”

“How do you know?”

Poe smiled weakly. “It’s what my dad said… after my mom died.” The memory left him empty now. Maybe because he himself felt empty and hollowed out. Like an empty vessel. But his father had been right. Soon, that feeling would pass. It had to. They were needed. Everyone was needed.

Finn nodded. “She kissed me,” he said all of a sudden, the words always blurting out of him and Poe couldn’t find it in himself to speak. All he could do was stare at him and feel a fresh wave of numbing pain wash over him.

“Rose…” he clarified, clearing his throat, fingertips on his lips.

Poe bit his own and nodded. He couldn’t say he hadn’t dreamed of that himself, but that dream had to be buried now. Once and for all. He made to get up, unable to take this anymore, when Finn’s hand closed around his wrist.

“Would you please not run out on me?” Finn swallowed hard. He looked at him, eyes bloodshot. “There’s been a lot going on and I haven’t had time to process it, neither have you, I guess, but this may be something I can deal with.”

“Deal with… What’s that supposed to mean?”

Finn sighed, wiping his brow. “Talk with me?”

“About Rose? Buddy, I’m not sure I’m the best person to talk to about girls.” In fact, he was the least qualified person to talk to Finn about girls. He bit his lip.

“I haven’t kissed anyone before,” Finn said, his fingers almost singeing Poe’s skin with their touch alone. He still hadn’t let got and Poe felt his heart beating in every single cell of his body.

“Did you like it?” Poe asked hoarsely, and Finn shrugged, the simple movement making Poe’s heart beat even faster.

“Not sure… it happened so fast… and I feel a bit overwhelmed by the gesture…”

Poe swallowed hard and averted his eyes. So this was it then. The moment had come for Finn to crush him for good. And Finn didn’t even know he- His thoughts stopped short, when Finn wove his fingers through Poe’s.

“To be honest,” Finn said quietly and Poe found himself looking up despite himself, “I would’ve preferred your kiss.”

Poe blinked at him, unable to process what Finn had just said. Finn wasn’t smiling. His eyes were serious, his hold on Poe’s hand firm and sure. It was as though he’d hit Poe over the head with a sledgehammer, immobilizing him for a moment. He huffed, unable to bring out a single sound, as everything inside him seemed to contract.

Finn pulled him close, let go of his hand to put his arm around him. He was breathing heavily, his breath hitting Poe’s skin, making a shiver run down Poe’s spine. He closed his eyes, pulse beating furiously now. When their lips crashed, he forgot everything around him.


End file.
